I’ve been sidelined the past few weeks. Ever since the Kidney Walk, I’ve noticed a slight pain in my right big toe that started out small and progressively got worse. I wore the wrong shoes for the walk and ended up paying the price. I had that little voice in my head saying, “comfort over fashion, Megan!!!” Did I listen? Nope.
A few days later, I was bending down to reach for something in the photography studio (more to come on this soon!) and felt the tendon(?) pull. The next morning, my foot was throbbing and I couldn’t put any weight on it without wincing in pain. After searching WebMD I self-diagnosed myself with a minor sprain and cared for my foot the best I could. I wanted to avoid the doctor if I could, but obviously would have gone if it had gotten worse. Luckily, it’s starting to feel much better.
I’ve been thinking about doing another race because I need to get in shape. I’ve been slacking big time but just haven’t had the energy to start training again. It’s so much harder when you feel like you’re starting from square one after putting so much time into it previously. I’m an all or nothing girl, but I’m trying to break that habit and realize that persistence is key. So I need to get back on the saddle and start training again. I think my foot injury has been motivation. It’s that old saying that you never fully appreciate something until it’s gone. Well, my foot has been out of commission for a while, and now that it’s feeling better I realize that I need to be grateful that I have a healthy foot to use. So it’s time to seek out a new local race that will force me to push myself. I still want that half marathon medal! Time to take the baby steps to get there.
I had the pleasure of participating in the National Kidney Foundation’s Northern Virginia Kidney Walk today. It was so inspiring to see all of the people come out to support friends and loved ones that have been affected by kidney disease. Some were transplant recipients. Some were currently battling kidney disease. Others were walking in honor of someone currently battling the disease, as well as those who had succumb to their fight. It was truly touching to see so many people unite for this cause.
After Mark got sick last year, I was determined to participate in the walk this year. I was determined to form a team and set a fundraising goal to contribute to NKF’s mission. I know what kidney disease is capable of. I’ve seen it firsthand. It’s something that can be prevented, and I wanted to do something to help spread awareness and possibly save lives.
I decided to go out on a limb to get the word out. I tend to be on the shy side, but I knew that this was important to me and something I HAD to accomplish. I first spread the word on Facebook. Family and friends donated right away. You know who you are. Thank you so much. I also wanted to reach out to the blogging community to see if I could generate support. I approached Healthy Living Blogs to see if I could purchase ad space to donate to one of my readers who made a donation. Instead, I was awestruck when they donated the ad space for my giveaway. A huge thank you to Heather for your generosity.
The next thing I knew, HLB members made donations to my team. While I asked for a $5 donation to be eligible for the giveaway, these bloggers decided to give more. These ladies are people that I’ve never met, yet they wanted to contribute to my cause. Wow.
Thank you to the anonymous person who made a donation.
I continue to be amazed by your generosity.
Because of my wonderful family, friends, and new blogging friends, M&M’s Kidney Dream Team accomplished its fundraising goal. I can’t begin to thank everyone enough for their support. It truly means the world.
Today was a great day. I am most thankful that I was able to spend this beautiful day with Mark. Last year, Mark was laying in a hospital bed close to death. By the grace of God, he survived. He brings joy to my life and continues to make me laugh everyday.
Things in life don’t always go as planned, but I do believe they happen for a reason. While I may write mostly about my running journey, I am truly honored in times like these when I can write to spread awareness about issues that are so important. Kidney disease can be prevented. Learn what you can and do what you can to protect yourself and the ones you love.
If you have it in your heart to become a donor, please do so. All you have to do is check a box on your driver’s license. It’s that simple. It may not seem like a big deal, but when you see someone you love suffering, it becomes a big deal. If you’re not sure, do your research. That’s all I ask. You can save a life.
slept through my alarm and woke up later than I wanted to
had a bit of a queasy stomach
was super exhausted after my four hour class last night
Normally, I would just use all of these reasons as excuses to put off a workout until tomorrow. Not this morning! I decided to break this vicious cycle and push through the excuses. I was only able to get in about twenty minutes of exercise, but I DID SOMETHING. I made it count and I’m pretty damn proud of myself.
Last year, my fiancé, Mark, got really sick. With February being smack dab in the middle of flu season, we thought he had caught the nasty virus. It started out as congestion in his chest, which rapidly got worse. Turns out it wasn’t the flu at all. He developed full blown double pneumonia. He had such a hard time breathing that he couldn’t even walk. He literally had to crawl out of bed. I called 911, and he was rushed by ambulance to the hospital. It was that moment that changed our lives.
Once he reached the emergency room, Mark’s blood pressure was off the charts. He was having such difficulty breathing that he was fighting the oxygen mask the nurses had placed over his nose and mouth. His blood oxygen level was so low that the doctors and nurses immediately rushed him to the ICU and placed him in a medically induced coma.
His blood test results came back, and I received shocking news. His kidney function was only 8%. He had been suffering from severe hypertension (high blood pressure), and his kidneys had been severely damaged. The doctor told me his kidney function would not likely recover, and he would need a kidney transplant.
Mark was in the ICU for five days. He had a breathing tube down his throat. Antibiotics were pumped into his body to clear up the pneumonia. When your kidneys fail, all of the fluid and toxins build up in your blood and your body starts to shut down. That is what happened to Mark. The fluid had built up in his lungs and he was drowning. It also caused a blood clot to form in his heart. The doctors were amazed he didn’t suffer a massive stroke.
He spent the next five weeks in the hospital. He had to have a catheter placed in his chest so that he could receive dialysis. Later, a fistula was created in his arm so that he could receive dialysis long term. He now has to closely monitor his fluid intake, as well as his diet, and take medication daily. He has dialysis every Mon-Wed-Fri for 4.5 hours a day. Dialysis is his lifeline until he receives a kidney transplant.
According to the National Kidney Foundation, more than 26 million Americans have kidney disease. That’s one in nine adults. Yet most people don’t know they have it. Did you know that diabetes and high blood pressure are the top two causes of chronic kidney disease? Before all of this happened, I definitely wasn’t aware of this startling statistic.
This disease is highly preventable – we just need to bring awareness to it so people know what to look for and learn the behaviors they should take to lower their risk. Did you know that lowering your sodium intake, getting enough exercise, and monitoring your blood pressure can not only help reduce heart disease, but can also save your kidneys?
Too many people die or suffer long term health complications due to kidney disease. We need to do something to stop it.
Will you consider making a $5 donation to our team? I understand times are tough for many, so if you can’t make a donation, can you please spread the word? If you’re able to give a little bit more, that’s great too! Let’s make this happen!
Now, the best part…
You’re giving back by donating, so I want to give back to you!
The fabulous ladies at Healthy Living Blogs have done something fantastic. I’ve been smiling ear to ear all week just thinking about it. They have donated three months of ad space on healthylivingblogs.com for one lucky Healthy Living Blog member who makes a $5 donation to my team!!!
Looking for more exposure for your health blog? Now you can have it free for three months! So awesome!
Note: In order to win the ad space, you must be a Healthy Living Blog member. Click here to join!
The poor tulips in my front yard must be super confused. March 25th…snow…in the DC area…really??!! Crazy!
Anyway, it worked out pretty well because I went in to work late. So I had no excuse not to fit in a workout in the morning. I’ve been trying to adjust my schedule so that I get up early to exercise, and this was a good introduction.
I told myself that I would work out for no more than thirty minutes. I didn’t want to push myself too much too soon. I tend to do that and burn out really easily. I also wanted to do something fun. My solution?
Trampoline jumping!
I also added weights into the mix. Summer is going to be here before I know it and I’m determined to wear tank tops with confidence this year!
I have to admit that the workout was tough. My body just isn’t used to it. Everytime it got difficult, I reminded myself of all the goals that I want to accomplish this year. That really seemed to help push me through, and made me jump higher! I felt like I was flying!
I was also reunited with my long lost endorphins. Boy, did I miss them!
I’m so happy I pushed myself. Can’t wait to jump even higher next time!
Like many, I have an office job that requires sitting at a desk for eight hours a day. Not great for weight loss. Luckily for me, my office building sits on a large campus that is 100% walkable. I decided that I don’t have an excuse for not getting any exercise during the day. I grabbed my shoes before I headed out the door this morning, determined to fit in a walk or two.
It was cold and windy, but I sucked it up and headed out for my walk around 1pm. I brought my ipod and earphones with me, which not only provided upbeat music to maintain a fast walking pace, but also shielded my ears from the piercing wind. Good move, Meg.
I figure I walked at least a mile, maybe a mile and a half. I need to remember to bring my pedometer with me tomorrow so that I can start tracking the number of steps I’m walking. Hopefully this will give me a more accurate picture of the distance.
Unless it’s pouring rain or there is a foot of snow on the ground (which I won’t rule out yet in Maryland), I’m committing to at least one walk a day while at work. I’m going to strive for two, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Hoping the extra energy boost helps me get through the 2 o’clock crash!
It’s funny how one little unexpected moment can really make you stop and think about things. I had one of these moments tonight.
As Mark and I were cruising YouTube, we came across a clip of an interview that Alicia Keys gave recently. What she had to say was really powerful. She was talking about the way she used to think about things. She used to verbally doubt herself. She used to say things like, “With my luck” and “This is how it will go for me.” One of her writing partners called her out on it and asked her why she said those things. It made her realize that if she says negative things like that, that’s the way her life will go. She took the word “if” out of her vocabulary and replaced it with “when.”
I realized that I do the same thing to myself. I always verbalize my self doubts and insecurities. Even if I whisper them quietly to myself, the words are still present. They are out there in the universe for myself to hear and believe. I have to stop doing it. If I start telling myself that I can do something, I will do it. If I tell myself that I can’t, then I won’t.
I started thinking about all of the negative words and phrases that I’ve told myself.
Pretty ugly isn’t it?
It’s a reflection of how I treat myself. I need to replace it with something more beautiful. Something more worthy of me.
Starting now, I’m going to replace the ugly words with the beautiful ones. I’m realizing that the only way to kick start the journey to achieving my dreams starts with the dialogue in my mind.
I’ve come to a realization. My priorities are not in check at all.
I’ve been putting on a front this whole time. I wanted other people to see me change, but I wasn’t ready to do it for myself. I’m always thinking of other people first. It’s always been in the front of my mind. Worry about what other people think of you. Don’t worry about what you really feel…or what you really want…or what you really need…for yourself.
Time after time, it leads to failure. Maybe I don’t know how to succeed, at least when it comes to this fitness thing. Food is my crutch. I always lean on it when things get rough. I need to learn to cope without it.
In a few weeks, I will be a new aunt. A precious little girl will enter my world. She will look at those around her, including her aunt, as a role model. She will look to me as an example of what she should be. I don’t want her to be me. I want her to be healthy and strong. I want her to be independent. I want her to know that she can set her mind on anything and achieve it.
I need to start being a role model. I don’t want her to grow up seeing a fat aunt who is not only physically weak, but weak minded. I want to show her how to be healthy.
I’ve committed to change before, and it may seem like a broken record at this point. But I feel like this may be the push I need to start moving in the right direction.
I finally started a new routine today. After months of moping around, I decided to change my attitude and just focus on the positive things in my life.
While my weight, shape, and body image may not be what I want it to be, I realize that I’m capable of changing it. I have full control. The only way to do something about it is to do something.
So I decided to write a contract for myself. A way to hold me, myself, and I accountable.
Here it is:
Exactly one year from now, January 1, 2014, I will:
Have lost at least 30 pounds.
Have completed the half marathon that I have dreamed of completing.
I gained back all of the weight that I lost this year.
I let stress get the best of me.
I let myself down.
I’ve been ashamed to admit it all. When I first started my fitness journey earlier this year, I was reading all of these other fitness blogs and got inspired. These women were accomplishing their goals. Whether it was running a marathon, losing weight, or regaining confidence, they made it seem so easy. I thought I could do it too.
It’s never been easy for me. Ever since I can remember, I’ve had negative body image issues. It started in elementary school. Food was a source of comfort and pain at the same time. It’s always been a huge internal struggle for me. It’s how I’ve coped with any emotions I was feeling. The moments of satisfaction I gained from savoring the sweet peanut butter cup woofing down ten peanut butter cups turned into hours of self loathing when I looked in the mirror and saw nothing but rolls of fat. The closest thing I can compare it to is prison. It feels like my strong, confident self has been serving a life sentence of shame and guilt, trapped in a very unflattering body that I want to break free from.
I thought I was on the path to freedom earlier this year. After years and years of starting and stopping, I ran my first race. Then I ran a longer race. And I finished! I was so proud of myself. I even saw a half marathon (my ultimate goal) on the horizon. I thought I was going to make it happen. But I re-offended.
Granted, it’s been a stressful year. Probably the most stressful year of my life. I have to give myself some credit for making it through. But I’ve realized that I need to learn better coping skills. It’s one of the many lessons that I’ve learned from my struggles lately.
I thought about giving up and just accepting myself for who I am. Maybe I’m meant to be overweight. I’ve been this way for twenty years now, so maybe this is who I’m supposed to be.
But I can’t accept that.
It’s taken a lot of convincing, but I’ve realized that I don’t need to wave my white flag anymore. I don’t have to surrender. I can still accomplish my goals. Obviously this involves a bigger life lesson than I’m presently aware of. I need to see where it leads.
Change is scary. But if I don’t try, I will never know.
So here goes. Take two. Half marathon, I hope to see you in 2013.
